Friday, September 03, 2004

With Great Power Comes Blah, Blah, Blah

Sigh... I was all set to make a mean joke here about how Zell Miller had sold out faster than flammable lawn crosses at the RNC, but it seems I can't do stuff like that anymore.

Turns out people are actually READING this goddamn thing. And I've got one guy who, for some reason, has made it his mission to elevate the level of discourse in my rhetoric. Which is ironic if you check out his blog. It's sort of like Siegfried calling Roy a fag.

But now I can't just take cheap shots anymore, because I'll be called to task for not getting my facts straight. For example, if I post that George W. Bush is a warmongering, borderline-retarded, unibrowed bastard that likes to shoot puppies, I'll immediately get a response setting me straight. "George W. Bush has two distinct eyebrows, you damn dirty hippy!"

So from now on, nothing but the high road for me. No more jokes about the Republicans being bigoted, racist, or homophobic because we all know those allegations have absolutely no basis in real life. No more referring to the president as a "retard" because I understand the comparison is hurtful to retarded people. And finally, no more ad hominem attacks on any of Bush's supporters.

Except for Zell Miller. Because, damn! That guy is a fucking fruitcake!


SJ said...

Irb, I'm still reading. In fact, I read almost all of your archives today. I enjoyed them immensely. I did a married person once too in my thirties, oh, okay, and in my 20s. (It was a man, not a woman however. There we differ.) Also believed it was love, blah de blah. Not in my 20s though, because that was just drunken sex occasionally. Are you through with that chapter, btw?

My father died of cancer, although he didn't kill himself. It was in 1989 and I also had dreams (for YEARS) that he was alive and well and driving in the car with me or dropping by my house. I have no discernable accent either, although I was brought up in Alabama. People think I am from "up North." I think it is just another part of my rebelling against the Deep South category. My husband is from Nashville and I have actually met Chet Atkins and many other session musicians.

The Jeff guy really does have it in for you. I think he thought you'd be an easy mark for a bully like him.

allister said...

Dude i'm reading your stuff for the first time. Screw that hippie i like your stuff. Keep taking those cheap shots cause without cheap shots all we got is love - and who wants that?

Irb said...

No kidding. Who the hell wants to read about love on the internet? I mean, unless it's some of that furry slash Star Trek fanfic love. Coz that stuff is HOT!

Jeff said...


I don't "have it out" for anyone. How weak and hyper-sensitive. But I do like to debate, something you poor victims can't handle, so you resort to name calling. The fact is, you guys are shocked because someone called BS on your nonsense. You've been talking to yourselves so long you haven't had to do any real thinking.

But you guys keep chanting the mantra and drinking the kool-aid...

Irb said...

"But I do like to debate, something you poor victims can't handle, so you resort to name calling."

Oh, I get it. You're being ironic again. Good one, Jeff! And who says Republicans have no sense of humor?

SJ said...

Don't forget that calling me weak and hyper-sensitive isn't name calling either. I wouldn't know. I'm still adjusting to being weak and hyper-sensitive.

SJ said...

And what's this about kool-aid? Do we all get some? I like Cherry. Or Tropical Punch, sugar free.