Thursday, September 23, 2004

Touched by an Angel... IN MY PANTS!!!

I blame myself, mostly. After all, I was the one that taught my grandfather how to use the "Forward" button on his e-mail. And now I'm paying the price as he floods my inbox with every stupid fucking urban legend that has EVER been circulated.

The most recent one was a plea for all Christians to unite together and fight against Madalyn Murray O'Hair and her atheist organization, because they were petitioning the FCC to pass RM-2493, which would ban all religious broadcasting on TV and radio. The first casualty of this holy media war was Touched by an Angel, which CBS was forced to cancel because they said "God" on the air.

Holy crap! How can you possibly pack so much retardation into a single e-mail without it collapsing in on itself?

My grandfather and his friends seemed really upset that the minions of Satan were now resorting to more bureaucratic methods to enforce the nefarious will of their evil overlord. So I thought I would do the decent thing and set them straight.

I replied back and informed everybody of the following (in a much nicer way):
  1. Madalyn Murray O'Hair has been dead for several years and, thus, not terribly active in Washington D. C.
  2. RM-2493 had nothing to do with the banning of religious broadcasting. It was intended to prevent religious organizations from purchasing licenses to broadcast on channels reserved for educational programming.
  3. RM-2493 was proposed in 1974, and was turned down in 1975. (Let me say that again for any mentally challenged people or Touched by an Angel fans that might be reading. RM-2493 was denied by the FCC almost THIRTY GODDAMN YEARS AGO!!!)
  4. Touched by an Angel was cancelled due to low ratings, not because they said "God" on the air. CBS is currently airing the show Joan of Arcadia, which not only mentions "God," but features Him as a prominent character.

I really thought it would set everyone's mind at ease to find out that Madalyn Murray O'Hair's zombie wasn't concocting some mad plan to get Jesus kicked off the air waves. But nooooooooooooooooo!!! I received an angry response, accusing me of mocking an issue that many Christians take very seriously.

Imagine. We live in a nation that is predominantly Christian. We have a president who is not only open about his Christianity, he lets it inform his policies from gay marriage to our involvement in the Middle East. One of the top grossing films this year was a reverent portrayal of Christ's last days.

And yet, it seems a lot of Christians just aren't happy unless they can pretend like they're being persecuted. So I guess they're eager to cling to any story that fulfills that fantasy, even if it is complete and utter bullshit.

It's just more fun that way.


SJ said...

Oy. Old people and that fucking myth spam. They are the only ones keeping this stuff going. Madalyn Murrah O'Hair. LOL. I always think of Phil Donahue when I hear her name.

SJ said...

I'm sorry I was a potty mouth in my previous post. I hope your mom doesn't take offense. Please let her know that I am, indeed, a potty mouth. But a very nice one.

And never tell her about my blog.

Irb said...

It's okay. She still doesn't know about mine, either ;-)