The Sign of Satan, a secret gesture
known only to those who worship the devil
or listen to rock music.
Satan has infiltrated the Republicans:
George W. and Laura Bush
(The W stands for "Wucifer")
(He thought he was
selling his soul to Santa)
(But only after he took over Home Depot)
(The man has had sex with Monica Lewinsky,
Paula Jones, and [allegedly] Hilary Clinton...
HE NO LONGER FEARS HELL)
(Satan thought he was psychic John Edward...
by the time he realized the mistake,
Crossing Over had already been canceled)
The Rulers of Foreign Lands:
Prince William of Wales
(Seen here using his powers of dark persuasion
to convince his brother Harry to dress like a Nazi)
(Actually, it turns out Arafat was just an avid University of Texas fan)
Upstanding members of the Televangelist Community:
(His soul was severely undervalued,
so he also does Satan's lawn on the weekends)
(Who is not only flashing the devil sign, but is
apparently about to give his congregation the finger)
Our beloved Celebrities:
(Originally wanted to call the show American Graven Image)
(Perhaps the only one of Satan's minions entitled to a refund)
("Baby, baby, I'm taken with the notion...
TO FEAST ON YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL!
And finally, our Superheroes:
('Nuff said, True Believer!)
And as the tendrils of the nefarious satanic conspiracy continue to make like Bill O'Reilly and reveal themselves, I can't help but wonder if there's anybody left to stand against them. Somebody brave and stalwart enough to kick evil in the nutsack and make it his bitch. Somebody like...