Tuesday, April 20, 2004

You know that feeling where you’re in love with someone, and they’re in love with you, and you’re so outrageously happy you can hardly believe it, but somewhere deep inside you, you know you weren’t really meant to be that happy and it’s inevitable that something’s going to come along and fuck it up?

And so you press on, basking in the joy, fearful that each moment with her is, for some reason or another, going to be your last? Just waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak?

And as time moves on, you start to realize that she doesn’t seem to enjoy your company as much as she used to? She won’t say anything, she won’t admit it, but it’s obvious her feelings towards you have cooled, to the point that she can no longer even bring herself to say that she loves you? And when you tell her that you love her, she laughs uncomfortably and changes the subject?

And you feel more and more like a stalker, hopelessly in love with her and lying to yourself constantly, telling yourself that you’re imagining things, that it’s just a phase, that she’ll eventually snap out of it and then she’ll love you like she used to?

And you know in your heart that it’s over, but you’re scared to death to confront her because somehow, hearing her say out loud what you’ve feared for so long is the worst thing you can imagine?

You know that feeling?

I fucking hate it.

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