JFK actually flew to Dallas a day early to spend an enjoyable evening at Jack Ruby's Carousel Club. Unfortunately, he suffered an aneurism while in the throes of passion with one of the strippers. The Secret Service made a quick call to LBJ, who gave the order to cover up the incident, lest word get out of the president's immorality. Jackie was informed, and a plan was hatched.
The next day, the president's body was propped up in the limousine, and wires were used to make his hand wave. Oswald, who was into Ruby for considerable money, was pressed into service to fire the fake shots from the book depository and to ultimately take the fall for the fake assassination.
It's All About Me
- Irb
- I am a straight white male between the ages of 17 and 44. I’m an Aries and a recovering Baptist. By national standards, I’m moderate in my politics, but by Texas standards I’m somewhere to the left of Lenin. I have a certain boyish charm that makes me irresistible to children, pets, and old people. I’ve grown indifferent towards the night life, and I no longer care to boogie. Like slightly more than 100% of the English majors I know, I’m a writer wannabe who has yet to get published. I am not now, nor have I ever been, “emo.” I have a singing voice that resembles the wailing of damned souls. I am the walrus, kookoo katchoo. I shot the sheriff. But, and I’d like to make this perfectly clear, I did *not* shoot the deputy. I once divided by zero. I used to think I had no discernable Texas accent, but a recent visit to Canada made me realize that I actually sound like goddamn Jethro. I believe the children are the future. And my hobbies include writing slash furry Star Trek fan fiction and sitting on the toilet until my legs fall asleep.
Visitors since 3/12/2008
Muahahahahahahahahaha!
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