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It's All About Me
- Irb
- I am a straight white male between the ages of 17 and 44. I’m an Aries and a recovering Baptist. By national standards, I’m moderate in my politics, but by Texas standards I’m somewhere to the left of Lenin. I have a certain boyish charm that makes me irresistible to children, pets, and old people. I’ve grown indifferent towards the night life, and I no longer care to boogie. Like slightly more than 100% of the English majors I know, I’m a writer wannabe who has yet to get published. I am not now, nor have I ever been, “emo.” I have a singing voice that resembles the wailing of damned souls. I am the walrus, kookoo katchoo. I shot the sheriff. But, and I’d like to make this perfectly clear, I did *not* shoot the deputy. I once divided by zero. I used to think I had no discernable Texas accent, but a recent visit to Canada made me realize that I actually sound like goddamn Jethro. I believe the children are the future. And my hobbies include writing slash furry Star Trek fan fiction and sitting on the toilet until my legs fall asleep.
Visitors since 3/12/2008
Muahahahahahahahahaha!
9 comments:
Outstanding. And certainly the first time I've ever laughed at a Jack Chick cartoon.
She's way off!
George Bush doesn't care about poor people!
But being black certainly doesn't help your case...
God DAMN! What ugly kids! Who reads that fucking shit, anyway?
I LOVE those Christian comics.
They are great!
For me to POOP ON!!
Now you know how your Jack Chick things have always scared the Bejeezus out of me. But this one, this one was fucking hilarious. Thanks.
Otto Man: Well then, you've obviously never read Dark Dungeons, because it made me giggle harder than Karl Rove at a puppy burning.
Sideshow Bob: If you draw a Venn diagram, where one circle equals "black" and the other equals "poor," then the intersection of those sets equals the people about whom George Bush doesn't care.
Oh, and he REALLY hates gay people too.
And stem cells.
Farrago: Jack Chick's Funnybook Gospel has helped many people to stop thinking and love the Lord.
And those are some ugly kids. That one girl going on about her salvation looks like a goddamn Thundercat.
Sylvana: Is it wrong that I was totally turned on by that?
SJ: They're supposed to scare the Bejeezus into you! You must be reading them backwards or something...
Did it make you fantasize that you were a Jack Chick tract?
That might be wrong.
Nope. My buttons are myriad and frightening, but that isn't one of them. Most of my fantasies involve nurses, Wonder Woman, chocolate pudding, a tractor, a boy scout uniform, Star Trek, and sometimes my fifth grade teacher Ms. McCollaugh.
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