Master Debaters - Veep Smackdown

The VP debates were on last night, and if you're like me, you discovered this when you switched on the TV and thought to yourself, "Holy crap! Sipowitz has really let himself go!"

Actually, I will say this for Cheney. He came across as human and, well, almost likeable. And in the greater scheme of lowered Republican expectations, the mere fact that he made it through the debate without flatlining is being seen as a win by his supporters.

As for Edwards, he was poised and smiley and oh, so charismatic. For some reason, every time Edwards smiles, I get the feeling he's about to tell me about the difference that Christ has made in his life. I don't know why. Chalk it up to a Baptist upbringing, if you must.

(And is it just me, or does Edwards look a lot like John Ritter? Before he died, I mean. For some reason, I keep imagining a scenario where Edwards is discussing the Republican Whips, but Mr. Furley overhears him and thinks he's talking about sex. And then Suzanne Somers shows up in a tight sweater and starts jumping up and down and up and... and... and... COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOOOOOOR!)

During the debate itself, both guys played a little fast and loose with the facts. But people more meticulous and less lazy than me have already done the legwork on this one. For an excellent breakdown of truth vs. rhetoric, check out this article at FactCheck.org, a website that Cheney himself cited during the debate (well, sort of). Somehow, I doubt he'll be mentioning them again after this.

Typical exchanges went something like this. Edwards would claim that 90% of the losses among Coalition forces in Iraq had been American. Cheney would counter by telling him that he forgot about the Iraqis themselves, who accounted for nearly 50% of the losses. Edwards would reiterate that he said Coalition forces. Cheney would begin wailing with remorse over how little the Democratic party really cared about the Iraqis. And then moderator Gwen Ifill would interrupt them both to remind them that the question had been about tax cuts.

I can't imagine the debate changed anybody's mind. Most polls are showing that Edwards won by a narrow margin, but we all know that's just the Jewish-run liberal media skewing the numbers as a part of their vast anti-Christian, anti-Bush agenda. So I'm willing to split the difference and call it a tie.

If you feel differently, fuck off and get your own damn blog.