Monday, March 05, 2007

Search Engine Democracy

Are you tired of being mired down day after day in pointless debate? Are you sick of being berated and browbeaten by pundits desperate to inflict their opinions on you? Do you wish there was a quick and easy way to form an opinion on something without having to know anything about it? Well, why not leave the decision making up to Google? That's right, my friend. Choosing sides is just as easy as downloading porn with Search Engine Democracy!

Here are some Google results to put your mind at ease.

Heaven - 123,000,000 hits
Hell - 164,000,000 hits

Coke - 28,400,000 hits
Pepsi - 20,200,000 hits

Less filling - 9,370,000 hits
Tastes great - 3,780,000 hits

George W Bush is a genius - 1,310,000 hits
George W Bush is an idiot - 1,440,000 hits

Driving with Ted Kennedy - 1,080,000 hits
Hunting with Dick Cheney - 1,100,000 hits

Sean Hannity - 1,530,000 hits
Alan Colmes - 374,000 hits

World of Warcraft - 21,600,000 hits
Everquest - 722,000 hits

Going to church on Sunday morning - 2,100,000 hits
Sleeping in on Sunday morning - 3,340,000 hits

Liberal communists - 1,500,000 hits
Conservative Nazis - 1,500,000 hits
(and who says discourse is dead in this great nation?)

Alien conspiracy - 1,610,000 hits
JFK conspiracy - 1,120,000 hits
Liberal media conspiracy - 1,790,000 hits
Christian conspiracy - 1,950,000 hits
Peanut Butter Conspiracy - 495,000 hits

Elvis is dead - 2,390,000 hits
Elvis is alive - 1,830,000 hits

Star Trek slash fiction - 346,000 hits
Harry Potter slash fiction - 529,000 hits
Diff'rent Strokes slash fiction - 259 hits

Naked pictures of Britney Spears - 1,550,000 hits
Naked pictures of Bea Arthur - 78,000 hits
Naked pictures of Chris Irby - 707 hits


Farrago said...

Hey, wait! You said "porn." I thought I would see porn.

You suck.*

*not really

Mags said...

Hey, what a good idea. I used to use my Magic 8 Ball when making important decisions, but I can't find it anywhere.

Jah bless The Google!

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