Saturday, February 17, 2007

Poetry for Uncultured Assholes

I've never been a huge fan of poetry, and I still feel that poems that don't rhyme reflect a monumental lack of effort on the part of the author. But still, every once in a while, the lovely muse Calliope takes a dump on my head and I feel inspired to pen an epic verse. So I've taken time away from writing my usual slash furry Harry Potter fan fiction to write the following poem. I call it "Hearsay".

Ned
said
Ted
shot Fred
in the head
and Fred
bled
red
in the bed
'til he was dead!

I'm particularly proud of the unique A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A rhyming scheme, as well as the 1-1-1-2-3-2-1-1-3-4 meter (known amongst us poets as iambic trimono-di-tri-di-dimono-tri-quadrameter).

Thank you for your indulgence. I now return to my previous tale. As you might recall, Snape had just been hit by a spell that had turned him into a gigantic, horny ocelot dressed in a latex nurse's uniform...

5 comments:

Farrago said...

I humbly submit to you... No wait. That's sounds...disgusting.

For your reading pleasure, I humbly submit this, mainly because it mostly fits your criterion for good poetry, and, most mostly, because I need more readers.

hmmm. Word Verification: coxmxxi

Kimmy753 said...

You're a poet, but didn't know it, but your feet show it, they are Longfellows!! WAHHH GET IT????

P.S. When are you going to post a pic of you and Stephanie?

Anonymous said...

Well said!
shaffner

Farrago said...

kimmy753, the only other person I ever heard say that all the way through to "Longfellows" is the girlfriend I had in my senior year of high school.

You're not my girlfriend from senior year of high school, are you?

Kimmy753 said...

Farrago..where have you been? I've missed you! :)