Saturday, December 24, 2005

Putting the "X" Back In Xmas!!!

It's Christmas Eve, and I just finished the last of my gift shopping. Funny how easy those first gifts are to buy, but as you get nearer and nearer the deadline, you become much less choosy. "Let's see... I think Grandma would love a Lite Brite and a carton of Lucky Strikes..."

Anyway, in approximately 4 hours, my nephew will be performing at church. Apparently he'll be dressed as a camel and doing a rap song, so I only hope I'm not too swept away by the majesty and the pageantry to enjoy myself.

(Actually, I can't wait. It sounds like a whole lot more fun than last year's nativity play, where a fat guy with a bushy black beard tried his best to play a Roman centurion. "Whare's this here baby Jesus we done heard 'bout?")


I got kind of an unexpected Christmas gift on Wednesday morning. As those of you who actually read this crap know, my friend Sean and I wrote a play for Pocket Sandwich Theater, a local playhouse here in Dallas. We wrote it on spec, and Joe (the owner of the theater) was supposed to let us know in November whether or not they were interested in performing it.

Well, Sean called me at 8:00 on Wednesday morning to let me know that he'd finally heard from Joe, and PST will be doing our play. It opens on March 31 of next year and will run until May 13. We were paid a pittance (the same pittance he pays his actors, it seems), but I'm still excited. Joe and the rest of the PST crew loved our script and are already bugging us for more!

I'm telling everybody I know, because I want that opening night audience packed with people who love me. So if any of you plan on being in the Dallas area on March 31, and you aren't pissed off at me about anything, then feel free to show up. It'll be fun. You get to throw popcorn and everything. Really.


And on that note, I guess I'd like to close with this picture of my nephews and Santa Claus. Christopher is the one on the right, and as you can see, the only one who's really happy to be there. Luke and Campbell look a little overwhelmed, but personally I really dig haunted, hunted Santa with the stone cold killer eyes. "O Little Town of... DEATHLEHEM!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!"

My nephews. And the scariest fucking Santa EVER!

And so, I'd like to wish everybody reading this a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukah, a Rockin' Ramadan, a Kwazy Kwanzaa, a Slammin' Solstice, or any other way you may choose to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Happy Holidays!!!


cracker said...

Merry Christmas you bleeding heart liberal - now go get some socialized medicine for that bleeding hear of yours.

nope said...

Ye know, he really does look like the original Father Christmas - from what pictures I've seen on the 'net. We've become way too used to the idea of a jolly fat man with ruddy cheeks and twinkling eyes. Really. This is as it should be.

I've give my left b... er ar... er.. nu... never mind - to be in Dallas the end of next March, but it ain't gonna happen, but I'll be thinking of you and your play! You should scan your signature in now so we can download your autograph as need be.


Sylvana said...

Mall Santas are scary!! They just did a piece on the news about how many kids are actually frightened of Santa once they meet one of these dudes.

My childhood pictures with Santa consisted of me giving him the Are-You-For-Real face. Cause even as a child I trusted NO ONE!! Just like Fox Mulder.

Congrats on your play. I would go see it but I'm no where near Dallas.

NYPinTA said...

Congrats on your play. Just remember, Santa is just as scared of you as you are of him.

SJ said...

The selling of the play is awesome, made more so by the fact that a place called "Pocket Sandwich Theatre" is gonna do it. The best.

So, what'd you give your grrrllllfriend? Was it something sweet or something she's secretly pissed off at you about? Hope you both had a nice one.

Irb said...

Cracker: The only doctor who can help me is Dr. Bill Frist, and unfortunately he only takes a medical interest in people who have already been dead for several years.

Hope your holidays were merry and bright, Righty McRedstate!!!

Indiaiynke: I agree. It seems like too many people have tried to turn Christmas into some kind of lame religious holiday, and have forgotten the original intention... sheer, unadulterated terror as Santa stalks the skies, looking for the sweet, sweet souls of naughty children...

Sylvana: I saw the picture of you and Santa on your blog and can I just say, having never actually met you, that you couldn't be more adorable if you were stuffed with fluffy puppies and little babies wearing sunglasses!

Why don't you and SSB make a road trip to Dallas to see the play? You guys can have my bed. I'll sleep on the couch.

Nypita: I believe you're thinking of bears. Just the same, you should take precautions if you see signs of Santa in your neighborhood (white hairs in the bushes, Santa droppings in the fireplace, etc.)

SJ: Are you gonna come see it? Huh? I swear, it's family friendly! I save all my swearing for special occasions, like blogging and going to fucking church!

For Christmas, I gave Stephanie an oven mitt and a coupon for One (1) Grade A Love-Em-Up.

(Just kidding. I gave her a pair of dragonfly earrings, and she LOVED them!)

Sylvana said...

Oh, dragonfly earrings? That's spooky. I just watched "Dragonfly" last night. It confirmed my opinion that Kevin Costner sucks.