Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Soapbox Hero (He's Got Stars In His Eyes)

Back in 2000, Al Gore ran for president against George W. Bush. And even though Gore got more votes, the Supreme Court decided to ignore the whole electoral process and just appoint Bush to the position. Understandably, we were outraged. Furious. We raised our fists and cried foul. And the Bush supporters called us sore losers and told us to quit whining. Because for them, none of that democracy crap really mattered just as long as their guy "won."

Our nation suffered through eight years of the WORST PRESIDENT EVER! And this year, the American voters finally got their shit together and decided it was time for a change. Fortunately, this time the votes actually mattered. Obama was elected and, for the first time in nearly a decade, the results were above board and incontrovertible.

And holy shit, now the conservatives are whining like a bunch of little bitches with skinned knees! They keep going on and on about how Obama is a Marxist leftist Muslim terrorist antichrist who is going to take away their guns and march them into internment camps where they'll be forced to crap on Bibles and get abortions.

I'm pretty sure most of them don't REALLY believe that. They're just desperately trying to hang on to a shred of dignity, to justify voting an illiterate warmongering fuckwit into office TWICE. Lord knows if I bore any responsibility for putting Bush in the White House, I'd probably spew that same nonsense just to convince myself I was still a decent human being.

But there are some dumb fucking mouthbreathers out there who honestly DO buy into that crap, and that boggles my mind. They honestly believe we're living in a blissful Bush-constructed Utopia, and now Obama and his wicked minions are going to come along and destroy it with their wicked Commie ways. Even more surprising is the fact that so many of these people live in Texas! I thought Bush executed most of the retarded people back when he was governor.

So to any of you people who are afraid of Obama, let me first say thanks for taking the time to let your state-provided caretaker read this post to you. Now put down your finger paints and listen carefully, because this is very important. Okay?

It's over, you sore losers. You had your chance, and you fucked it up royally. So quit whining. Sit down, shut up, and let the grownups work.

And while we're on the subject, do you remember all that bullshit you hypocrites kept spouting about how anyone who disrespects the president is an unpatriotic supporter of terrorism? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Whew. Thanks for listening. You've been very therapeutic. I hereby relinquish the soapbox...


Jana said...

Whoo hoo! I applaud your rant! I have a neighbor who still has his McCain sign up. Talk about denial!

scarletvirago said...

I think you should have some soapbox shoes made. Seriously. Don't get down on my account.

Professor said...

This is the best post I've read in MONTHS! (be careful someone doesn't tattle on you when you rant.)

And did you really call Bush an "illiterate warmongering fuckwit"? Because he should have that printed on his new business cards.

Love this post! And thanks for saying it for all us Obama minions!

Susan R said...

I would like to say - (aside from appreciating your acknowledgment that most sensible people don't buy into that shit....)
Admittedly, some of his philosophies scare the pants of me. (that's the conservative in me) I had many issues with some of his positions and "presentations" (Got real bent over that fakey-do presidential seal at that meeting he was at - for several reasons). Nor do I totally buy into his explanation of Reverend Wright - I do believe you're known by the company you keep as well as the company you don't keep.
That being said - He ran an excellent campaign. He's no slouch. The will of the majority have spoken through our democratic process - so -
Whether I voted for the man or not - he is going to be my president and until he does something boneheaded (and Bush did do some fuckwit things... Cheney being high on my list) - I will speak of him with the respect that the office deserves. (And his family - Leave poor Michelle & her election dress ALONE for heaven's sake)
You can have your soapbox back :)

Farrago said...

I whole-fartedly agree.

And I think I'm in love with your woman from reading her blog. Find out if she likes me.

word verification: plotypi

Irb said...

Jana: My grandfather still has his Bush/Cheney 2004 sticker on his car. Of course, that might be more senility than denial, but still...

Scarlet Virago: Nah, it gets kind of wobbly up here sometimes. Plus, I occasionally forget that there are totally reasonable people (like Susan below) who hold different opinions than mine. I KNOW! IT BLOWS MY MIND TOO!

Professor: If anybody reads this post to Bush, I could be in some serious trouble!

I was really angry when I wrote it, but I'm feeling much better now ;-)

Susan R: I'm amazed by the number of people who were concerned about Obama's relationship with Reverend Wright, yet didn't seem bothered at all by Palin's crazy-ass pastor who cast witches out of his congregation, or by Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson claiming that 9/11 was caused by gay people and women in the workplace. I guess outrage is sort of a selective thing.

That said, I appreciate your measured and sensible response. It almost makes me wish I'd written something classier. ALMOST!

Hope all is well and good with you!

Farrago: I know! She's swell, isn't she? Your name hasn't come up yet, but if she accidentally screams it in the throes of passion, I'll be sure to let you know ;-)

Susan said...

I think if there had really been any chance in hell of Palin ending up in the White House - there might have been more concern. It was clear somebody knew something when the pundits & talking heads actually started calling her "hot" - out loud.
If you think about it- it's a smart tactic - why focus on the big issues when the little ones will accomplish the same thing? Your not a big bully that way :)
In the end - we all have some off-beat people in our lives - I'm so thankful for my goofy friends & family. I'm thankful for you too :) SR

Irb said...

Let's hope I don't prove a liability should you ever run for office ;-)