Reasons To Be Thankful, Part I

Ann Coulter just finished up her book Guilty, which she has described as "a much needed reality check on the Left gone wild." She was all set to hit the TV (i.e. FOX News) and radio talk show circuit to promote her little literary abortion when a miracle happened.

Ann Coulter broke her jaw. It's been wired shut. No idea who did it, but the list of suspects includes pretty much anybody who has a soul.

Yes, Ann Coulter's gaping anus of a mouth has been sealed, which is going to make it hard for her to reach out to the Klansmen and crazed loners who make up her reading audience. Plus, now she's going to need a straw to consume her daily serving of infant blood.

So when you gather with your families for Thanksgiving and reflect on all that is good in your life, be sure to give thanks to whichever invisible man or cosmic force you worship for silencing that sad, desperate woman. And maybe ask Him to do something about her goddamn Adam's apple.



Follow up #1: I posted the line about Klansmen and deranged loners in the comments section of the New York Post, but it got deleted. I can only assume some Klansman got pissed off that I was grouping him in with Ann Coulter's readers.

Follow up #2: When I told Stephanie about this post, she suggested that maybe Ann Coulter had broken her jaw when she unhinged it to devour a small child. Damn, I wish I'd thought of that...