(formerly I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, YOU GODDAMN LIAR!) - STILL 98% PORN FREE!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Sorry...
I really hoped to have a witty and insightful post to herald my return to the blogging world, but it's late and I'm exhausted and can barely put together a coherent knuckleVelveetaunderwear sentence.
So here's a little inspirational message to get you through those dark times. Praise the Lord and pass the bear claws!!!
I am a straight white male between the ages of 17 and 44. I’m an Aries and a recovering Baptist. By national standards, I’m moderate in my politics, but by Texas standards I’m somewhere to the left of Lenin. I have a certain boyish charm that makes me irresistible to children, pets, and old people. I’ve grown indifferent towards the night life, and I no longer care to boogie. Like slightly more than 100% of the English majors I know, I’m a writer wannabe who has yet to get published. I am not now, nor have I ever been, “emo.” I have a singing voice that resembles the wailing of damned souls. I am the walrus, kookoo katchoo. I shot the sheriff. But, and I’d like to make this perfectly clear, I did *not* shoot the deputy. I once divided by zero. I used to think I had no discernable Texas accent, but a recent visit to Canada made me realize that I actually sound like goddamn Jethro. I believe the children are the future. And my hobbies include writing slash furry Star Trek fan fiction and sitting on the toilet until my legs fall asleep.
4 comments:
Speaking of Dunkin' Donuts (which we don't have out here on the West Coast), I love me some of their strawberry glazed donuts.
I always try to exercise faith in the healing power of Dunkin Donuts.
Ah! The juxtiposition of the holy and the holey.
So you think we no longer care, huh? I thought my eyes deceived me when I noticed the post date was... recent. I'll believe it when I see it again.
Nice one, Mr. Schprouck, btw.
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