Thursday, December 23, 2004

Silent Night, Holy Shit, It's COLD!!!

Yeah, I know. It happens every year. But I've got shorter memory than most of Bush's supporters when it comes to weather, because every winter the temperature here in Texas drops from 110 to 2 overnight and I whine about it. Incessantly.

"By the flaming nipples of our Lord and Savior!" I'll exclaim through chattering teeth, my body spasming in a desperate attempt to break a sweat. "It's colder than a metal rod up a snowman's ass!"

"Yes, Chris," my patient friends will usually respond, their mouths full of Schlitz Malt Liquor and Red Hots. "Every year, it gets cold. We call it 'winter.' Remember, it got cold last year? And the year before that? And..."

"Not this cold!" I'll insist, stubbornly. "I think the Earth has spun off its axis or something!"

Why the hell do men have nipples, anyway?

1 comment:

SJ said...

So transvestites will only have to have implants and not nipples tattooed on. See? The nipples are already in place.