(formerly I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, YOU GODDAMN LIAR!) - STILL 98% PORN FREE!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Bumper Stickers You Probably Won't See on Humvees
You know how some days, you just find yourself burning with passion and righteous indignation and you can't wait to crank out a post laden with barbed satire and insightful commentary? Well, this isn't one of those days. Enjoy some bumper stickers, bitches!
I am a straight white male between the ages of 17 and 44. I’m an Aries and a recovering Baptist. By national standards, I’m moderate in my politics, but by Texas standards I’m somewhere to the left of Lenin. I have a certain boyish charm that makes me irresistible to children, pets, and old people. I’ve grown indifferent towards the night life, and I no longer care to boogie. Like slightly more than 100% of the English majors I know, I’m a writer wannabe who has yet to get published. I am not now, nor have I ever been, “emo.” I have a singing voice that resembles the wailing of damned souls. I am the walrus, kookoo katchoo. I shot the sheriff. But, and I’d like to make this perfectly clear, I did *not* shoot the deputy. I once divided by zero. I used to think I had no discernable Texas accent, but a recent visit to Canada made me realize that I actually sound like goddamn Jethro. I believe the children are the future. And my hobbies include writing slash furry Star Trek fan fiction and sitting on the toilet until my legs fall asleep.
3 comments:
Go Team Jesus!
"It takes a Clinton..." PRICELESS!
And I like the Jesus pushed to violence, too >:)
I would actually put the Clinton one on my car.
The Jesus one reminded me of "The Gospel of Supply-Side Jesus". Frickin' hilarious!
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