Saturday, December 24, 2005

Putting the "X" Back In Xmas!!!

It's Christmas Eve, and I just finished the last of my gift shopping. Funny how easy those first gifts are to buy, but as you get nearer and nearer the deadline, you become much less choosy. "Let's see... I think Grandma would love a Lite Brite and a carton of Lucky Strikes..."

Anyway, in approximately 4 hours, my nephew will be performing at church. Apparently he'll be dressed as a camel and doing a rap song, so I only hope I'm not too swept away by the majesty and the pageantry to enjoy myself.

(Actually, I can't wait. It sounds like a whole lot more fun than last year's nativity play, where a fat guy with a bushy black beard tried his best to play a Roman centurion. "Whare's this here baby Jesus we done heard 'bout?")


I got kind of an unexpected Christmas gift on Wednesday morning. As those of you who actually read this crap know, my friend Sean and I wrote a play for Pocket Sandwich Theater, a local playhouse here in Dallas. We wrote it on spec, and Joe (the owner of the theater) was supposed to let us know in November whether or not they were interested in performing it.

Well, Sean called me at 8:00 on Wednesday morning to let me know that he'd finally heard from Joe, and PST will be doing our play. It opens on March 31 of next year and will run until May 13. We were paid a pittance (the same pittance he pays his actors, it seems), but I'm still excited. Joe and the rest of the PST crew loved our script and are already bugging us for more!

I'm telling everybody I know, because I want that opening night audience packed with people who love me. So if any of you plan on being in the Dallas area on March 31, and you aren't pissed off at me about anything, then feel free to show up. It'll be fun. You get to throw popcorn and everything. Really.


And on that note, I guess I'd like to close with this picture of my nephews and Santa Claus. Christopher is the one on the right, and as you can see, the only one who's really happy to be there. Luke and Campbell look a little overwhelmed, but personally I really dig haunted, hunted Santa with the stone cold killer eyes. "O Little Town of... DEATHLEHEM!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!"

My nephews. And the scariest fucking Santa EVER!

And so, I'd like to wish everybody reading this a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukah, a Rockin' Ramadan, a Kwazy Kwanzaa, a Slammin' Solstice, or any other way you may choose to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Happy Holidays!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Benny Hill's The Passion of the Christ

As I've mentioned before, I am an agnostic lacking any sort of moral barometer. And even I know this is wrong...

Click, if you dare.
And may God have mercy on your soul.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Nephews a Trois

Since I have no adorable children of my own, here's a holiday picture of my three nephews.

Luke, Christopher, and Campbell. And a teddy
bear whose name, I believe, is "Beary White."

Aren't they adorable? I swear, I just wanna squeeze 'em until they crap kittens!!!